Silver Lining Dating Site
In speaking with many single clients, I’ve found that the vast majority do not enjoy online dating. This anecdotal feedback seems supported by a December 2016 Consumer Reports survey, which found that people were generally not happy with ANY online dating service out there (free or paid).
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Certainly, it can be very time-consuming when you’re bombarded by messages from creeps, disheartening when you’re looking through countless uninspiring profiles, and frustrating when the one person you’re interested in doesn’t message you back.
That said, online dating IS a convenient way of meeting a wide variety of people you wouldn’t ordinarily meet from the comfort of your own home, at a relatively low cost (when compared to the expense of attending live dating events or meeting in restaurants).
So is there a way to make online dating easier? Can a person actually learn to enjoy it?
Top 10 tips to avoid wasting time online
There are definitely ways to make online dating easier. I’ve found that most people blindly begin without even thinking about which site is best given their relationship goals and demographics. They just use whatever their friends are using (whether their goals are the same or not).
Furthermore, most people set up a profile as quickly as possible without putting a lot of thought into it, and then wonder whey they’re attracting the wrong people. Or (on the other end of the spectrum) they spend too much time online dating, and wonder why it feels like the joy has been sucked out of their life.
Here are my top tips for being efficient and making the most of your time when online dating:
1. Choose one or two dating sites/apps to focus on – Being on too many sites scatters your focus and requires too much time to manage. Choose the site that has the best demographics for you and best serves your goals. (For example, if you’re over 40 and looking for a long-term relationship, Tinder or Bumble would not be the best choice as they are more commonly used by people under 30 for hook-ups and casual relationships.)
2. Choose a paid site – I recommend paid sites over free ones as they typically include at least some screening, so there are fewer weirdos to weed through and the “quality” of people is generally better (there will still be strange people anywhere though, or people with different goals than you). Paid sites also usually have enhanced privacy options and more features, and no (or fewer) annoying ads.
3. Create a great profile – Spend time learning how to create a great profile, and getting friends to review it to ensure it shows you in your best light in a creative (but honest) way. Think about it from your ideal partner’s perspective – what are they looking for, and what makes you a great catch? Don’t be too heavy – humour is almost always appreciated.
4. Use invisible/private mode – Most paid sites have an “invisible” or “private” mode, allowing you to keep your profile hidden, browse through other profiles, and only make yours visible once you find someone you’re interested in. This helps prevent being inundated with unwanted attention from creeps/scammers.
5. Set aside 30 min/day or one evening/week – Don’t spend your entire life online dating! A romantic relationship is only one aspect of your life. Be sure you’re maintaining balance and continuing to do activities you enjoy with people you love. Set aside a specific amount of time each week to dedicate to your search – and then the rest of the time, enjoy your life as a single person (you won’t be single forever)!
6. Ignore messages if you’re not interested – If someone messages you and you’re really not interested, just ignore the message. It becomes too time-consuming to respond to everyone, and it’s kinder to not waste someone’s time if you’re not digging them. However, if you’ve been communicating with someone or have gone on a date, then it’s common courtesy to respond and “let them down easy” if you’re no longer interested, rather than to ignore (ghost) them.
7. Report creeps and scammers – Don’t buy into early promises of love, or send people money or naked pictures. If someone sends you something inappropriate or asks for money, please report them to the dating site/app you’re using to spare others from going through the same thing! You can also report scammers to the Canadian Anti-Fraud Centre.
8. Message people who catch your eye – If someone catches your eye, send them a brief message telling them what you liked about their profile, or asking a question. Then let them respond – if they don’t, they’re either not interested or have perhaps found someone already.
9. Talk on the phone to learn more – If you’ve messaged back and forth a few times and decided you like someone, ask to speak on the phone (you can learn a lot about someone by the tone of their voice and how they hold a conversation). If the person avoids this, NEXT!
10. Meet in real life if it feels like a match – Within 1-2 weeks of meeting someone you’re really interested in online, meet in real life. Remember: You don’t really know who they are and can’t really assess how much you like them until you’ve met them! Ensure you meet in a public place, and drive yourself there (don’t accept being picked up at home until you know them better). If they don’t ask you to meet in person within a couple weeks, suggest it. If they avoid meeting in real life, move on to someone who thinks you’re worth their time!
Be patient and positive
Having success with online dating requires three things:
- Being clear about what you want.
- Having a positive attitude (about yourself, the opposite sex, dating in general).
- Being patient enough to wait for what you truly want (i.e. not settling).
No matter which dating site and strategy you use, there will be oddballs out there you have to weed through. There are good and bad “fish” in every pond, so don’t take it personally if you get a creepy message or picture, or if someone doesn’t message you back (only 1/3 of messages on online dating sites are responded to). You don’t need to like every fish, or have every fish like you – you just need to find one! It’s about quality, not quantity.
My #1 tip for making online dating easier is to have a good attitude going in. Be sure you only start dating once you’re already feeling good about yourself, your life, and your chances of finding a good match. If you’re not feeling good about these things, you will not attract good dates! It just doesn’t work that way. Do your inner work first, then date from a place of power and happiness – your results will be much, much better.
If you need help with this, or with creating your online dating profile, email me!
Share your thoughts!
Which site do you prefer? Please share your ideas and comments about online dating below.
Resources for further learning
- Do you keep attracting unhealthy relationships? (Karen Strang Allen)
- Check out Karen’s website for her latest dating and relationship workshops (Ottawa)
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Karen Strang Allen is an empowerment coach for single women and mother of two. She is the author of Free to be me: Create a life you love from the inside out! and international bestselling co-author of Unwavering Strength Volume 2. Widowed at 22 and separated at 35, Karen’s mission is to help single women feel great, turn their heartbreak into a breakthrough, and create a life they love, so they become a magnet for their dream partner. Learn more about Karen and check out her free empowering resources at www.karenstrangallen.com.
An Analysis and Criticism of Mass Media Myths Portrayed in Silver Linings Playbook
Thesis
The romantic comedy Silver Linings Playbook (2012) demonstrates a few of the Mass Media Myths, including Myth 2 (“There’s such a thing as ‘love at first sight’”), Myth 6 (the roles of gender and masculinity), Myth 7 (“The love of a good and faithful true woman can change a man from a ‘beast’ into a ‘prince’”), and Myth 8 (Bickering and fighting mean a couple is truly in love). In the film Patrick Solatano, Jr., an irritable and desperate man, attempts to find the “silver linings” in his otherwise miserable life. Through the love of a true woman, Tiffany Maxwell, Pat becomes happy and finds meaning in life again (Myth #7). Throughout their initial encounters, Pat and Tiffany bicker, but it is often portrayed in a comical, almost endearing way (Myth #8). Finally, Pat reveals to Tiffany that he fell in love with her the moment he saw her (Myth #2), despite the fact that he was pursuing his ex-wife Nikki for the majority of the film.
Step 1: Detection
The entire movie Silver Linings Playbook is being analyzed; this movie is available on DVD/BluRay, as well as for instant streaming on Netflix. It was based on the novel TheSilver Linings Playbook by Matthew Quick.
Step 2: Description
In this movie Bradley Cooper portrays Patrick “Pat” Solatano, Jr. At the beginning of the movie, Pat is being released from a mental hospital after an eight month stay, and it is revealed that he has bipolar disorder. He is released into the care of his parents Pat Sr. (Robert De Niro) and Dolores Solatano (Jacki Weaver). Pat soon learns that his wife, Nikki, has left, and that his father has taken to illegal bookmaking in order to raise money to start his own restaurant. Pat then begins to try and get his life back on track and reconcile things with Nikki, who has gotten a restraining order against him.
Later in the introduction, Pat speaks to his court-ordered therapist Cliff Patel, and Pat reveals why he was hospitalized: one day he left his high school teaching job early because he got into a fight with the principal. When he walks into his house he hears his wedding song playing, and then sees his wife in the shower with a high school history teacher. Upon seeing this Pat flies into a rage, and nearly beats the history teacher to death. Despite his obvious mental shortcomings Pat refuses to take his medication, instead insisting on taking a more positive outlook on like. To do this he starts working out to lose weight, and he also begins reading books that Nikki–a high school English teacher–puts on her syllabus.
Pat then has dinner at his friend Ronnie’s (John Ortiz) house, and meets Ronnie’s sister-in-law Tiffany Maxwell (Jennifer Lawrence). Tiffany is a young widow who recently lost her job, and her and Pat develop a strange connection based on their shared neurotic natures. Tiffany’s sister Veronica (Julia Stiles) is a friend of Nikki, so Pat believes he can begin communicating with Nikki through Tiffany, thus getting around the restraining order. When Pat reveals this to Tiffany she says that she’ll only carry the letter if he will be her partner in an upcoming dance competition. Initially Pat declines, but eventually he reluctantly accepts Tiffany’s offer. Throughout the next couple of weeks Pat and Tiffany begin an intense rehearsal schedule for the competition, and Pat begins to enjoy it because he thinks participating in the competition will be the perfect way to show Nikki that he’s become a better man. Later on, Tiffany gives Pat a typed reply from Nikki, and in the letter it is hinted that Pat and Nikki might be able to reconcile their relationship.
At this stage in the movie, things are going pretty well for Pat, but then his father asks him to attend a Philadelphia Eagles game as a “good luck charm,” because he has bet all of his money on an Eagles victory. Pat asks Tiffany’s permission to skip dance practice in lieu of the football game, and after a brief argument she reluctantly agrees. During a pre-game tailgate Pat gets into an intense fight with some other Eagles fans, and he is consequently dragged away by the police. The Eagles then lose the game, and Pat’s father is furious. Later in the night Tiffany arrives at Pat’s house and berates Pat and his family, pointing out that the Eagles always perform well when Tiffany and Pat spend time together. Pat’s father is then convinced that Pat and Tiffany are a good luck pair, and makes a double or nothing parlay bet with his gambling friend; if the Eagles beat the Dallas Cowboys and if Pat and Tiffany average a score of five at the dancing competition, then he will win back double what he lost in the original bet. Pat is unsure about whether or not he wants to participate in the dance competition under these conditions, and he leaves the living room to go outside and reread Nikki’s letter to him. While reading the letter, Pat recognizes a familiar phrase–”reading the signs–” of Tiffany’s, and he realizes that Tiffany wrote the letter, not Nikki. He then goes back inside and Tiffany and Pat, Sr. persuade Pat to compete in the competition by telling him that Nikki will be in attendance.
Pat, Tiffany, and their friends then arrive at the dance competition, which is conveniently being held on the same day as the Eagles game. Tiffany becomes distraught when she sees that Nikki (Brea Bee) actually is in attendance. She begins crying, and starts drinking heavily with a stranger. Pat then finds her and drags her to the dance floor, and they begin their dance while the Eagles simultaneously defeat the Cowboys.
At the end of their routine, Tiffany and Pat score exactly a five, which means that Pat’s father has won the parlay. Pat then approaches Nikki and whispers something in her ear. Upon seeing this, Tiffany storms outside. Pat’s father finds Pat and tells him that Tiffany stormed away, and he says that Tiffany loves Pat, and that it would be a sin if Pat doesn’t seize this opportunity. Pat runs after Tiffany, and upon finding her he hands her a letter that says that he knows she forged Nikki’s letter. He then confesses his love for her and says that he’s loved her from the moment he saw her, but has only just recently realized it. They then share a big kiss, and become a couple.
The movie ends with Pat, Sr. opening a restaurant with his bet winnings, and the final scene shows a happy–and obviously in love–Pat and Tiffany without their wedding rings.
Creator; Creator’s purpose
Director and Screenwriter David O. Russell said he was drawn to the story because of the family relationships, and also because he felt the story connected with his own son, who has bipolar disorder and OCD.
Function/Purpose and Genre
The primary function of the romantic comedy genre of cinema is to entertain.
Step 3: Deconstruction
Underlying Myths/Stereotypes
The primary Myth demonstrated in Silver Linings Playbook is Myth #7 (The love a woman can change a man from a beast to a prince). Pat was extremely depressed and rageful after leaving the mental hospital, as is seen when he freaks out over a Hemingway text. Other Myths include Myth #6, Myth #2, and Myth #8.
Evidence for Linking Myths/Stereotypes; Specific Examples of Content and Form that Represents Embedded Values
Right from the beginning of the movie you can see Pat’s delusions regarding his marriage, which are highlighted by his devotion to Myth #7 (changing yourself in the name of “true love”). He tells this to his father towards the beginning of the movie:
PAT
What am I gonna do? I’m getting in shape, I’m getting trim, I’m getting really fit for Nikki. I’m gonna read Nikki’s teaching syllabus and get my old job back.
Here you can see Pat attempting to change in the name of his love for his estranged wife; here Myth #6 (the role of gender) is also briefly mentioned. Pat believes in order to win Nikki back he needs to get stronger, read more, and have a solid career, thus fufilling a masculine role in their relationship. He later repeats this transformation goal to Tiffany when he acknowledges her beauty:
PAT
I just see that you made an effort and I’m gonna be better with my wife, I’m working on that. I wanna acknowledge her beauty. I never used to do that. I do that now. ‘Cause we’re gonna be better than ever…Nikki. Just practicing.
He seems to think that in order to show his wife that he loves her that he has to change his behavior; in fact, he discloses to Tiffany that he thinks this sort of behavior is “normal,” when he’s speaking to her:
PAT
It’s electric between us, okay? Yeah, we wanna change each other, but that’s normal, couples wanna do that, I want her to stop dressing like she dresses, I want her to stop acting so superior to me, okay? And she wanted me to lose weight and stop my mood swings, both of which I’ve done.
However, even though he his striving to change Pat doesn’t truly change until he meets Tiffany. After Tiffany invites him to take part in the dance competition Pat has a concrete goal to strive for, and dancing with Tiffany gives him a distraction from his obsessive thoughts about his ex-wife Nikki. Eventually, Pat manages to move on and look into the future with Tiffany. Even though she is not the “perfect” woman Tiffany is a “perfect” fit for Pat, and her presence helps him cope with his bipolar disorder, and consequently “changes” him and his outlook on life. Other Myths demonstrated include Myth #2 (love at first sight), Myth #6 (the role of gender), and Myth #8 (bickering is normal, loving behavior for couples).
Myth #8, is presented several times throughout the movie. During the first few encounters, they always ended up with bickering furiously. However, it is the process which they get familiar with each other. In the movie, bickering is just a special way to express their personalities and thoughts. For example, in their initial meeting at Ronnie’s house Pat and Tiffany have this exchange:
TIFFANY
Yeah, you. Are you gonna walk me home?
PAT
You have poor social skills. You have a problem.
TIFFANY
I have a problem? You say more inappropriate things than appropriate things. You scare people.
PAT
I tell the truth. But you’re mean.
TIFFANY
What? I’m not telling the truth?
Later that night, Tiffany slaps Pat in the face when he mentions her husband Tommy’s death, but the slap is portrayed as comical, not abusive. The next day the two have another bitter exchange:
PAT
You’re crazy!
TIFFANY
I’m not the one that just got out of that hospital in Baltimore.
PAT
I’m not the big slut!
TIFFANY STOPS AND REACTS, BENDING OVER. PAT STOPS AND WALKS.
PAT (CONT’D)
(breathes heavily)
I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.
TIFFANY STANDS UP.
TIFFANY
I was a big slut, but I’m not anymore. There’s always gonna be a part of me that’s sloppy and dirty, but I like that, with all the other parts of myself. Can you say the same about yourself, fucker?! Can you forgive? Are you any good at that?
The violent, critical exchange encourages Pat to take a look at his behavior. Myth #8 is readdressed later, when Pat is telling Tiffany about his constant fights with Nikki:
PAT
…I mean, people fight. Couples fight. We would fight, we wouldn’t talk for a couple weeks. That’s normal. She always wanted the best for me.
Here Pat is under the delusion that his constant bickering with his wife is “normal” and that their connection is “electric.”
Myth #2 (“love at first sight”) is presented very briefly in the end of the film, and it serves as the film’s resolution:
TIFFANY
(upset)
Would you just leave me alone?!
PAT
Wait a second!
HE PULLS A LETTER OUT.
PAT (CONT’D)
I have one more letter for you to read, okay?
TIFFANY
(yelling)
What the fuck is the matter with you? Give it to her yourself!
PAT
Let me say something. You don’t ever have to see me again if you just read it, alright?
TIFFANY
This is so fucked up.
PAT
Yeah, just read it.
TIFFANY UNFOLDS THE LETTER.
TIFFANY
(reading)
“Dear Tiffany…
SHE STOPS, surprised it is addressed to her.
TIFFANY (CONT’D)
(reading)
“…I know you wrote the letter. (long pause) The only way you could meet my crazy….”
PAT
(reciting)
“…was by doing something crazy yourself. Thank you. I love you. I knew it the minute I met you. I’m sorry it took so long for me to catch up. I just got stuck. Pat.” I wrote that a week ago.
TIFFANY
You wrote that a week ago?
PAT
Yes, I did.
TIFFANY
You let me lie to you for a week?
PAT
I was trying to be romantic.
TIFFANY
You love me?
PAT
Yeah, I do.
TIFFANY
Okay.
Despite not paying attention to her romantically for most of the film, Pat confesses his love, claiming that it was “at first sight.”
Significant Omissions
There are a few glaring omissions from the movie, which could potentially affect the couple’s relationship in the future: both Tiffany and Pat have recently lost their jobs, and considering what they lost them for (sleeping around and assault, respectively) it will be fairly difficult for them to find new ones. How are they going to support themselves? The couple also has to deal with the fact that Veronica (Tiffany’s sister) is still good friends with Nikki (Pat’s ex-wife)…how is that going to work out? On top of this Pat and Tiffany are never really shown being a happy couple until the last scene in the movie…are their mental health shortcomings and abusive attitudes still going to be prevalent in the newfound relationship? The movie decides to omit these potential issues, so the audience is just led to believe that Pat and Tiffany live happily ever after.
Step 4: Diagnosis
Silver Lining Dating Site Reviews
Meaning and Possible Interpretations (Preferred and Oppositional)
The preferred reading of this movie would be that two people can come together–despite mental health issues and other personal problems–and create a happy, “silver linings” filled life together. The movie also shows that the love of the right person is more effective in changing someone’s outlook on life than antidepressants, therapy, and mental hospitals are (Pat refuses to take his medication after leaving the hospital, but after meeting Tiffany he begins taking his medication and self-correcting his behavior).
The movie also shows that we can fix others–and more prominently ourselves–if we’re given the motivation of true love.
The oppositional reading, however, dismisses these myths, because some of the messages conveyed in Silver Linings Playbook are unrealistic.
It is unlikely that Pat’s personality change can be attributed solely to Tiffany’s presence, and an educated viewer understands this. An educated audience member will also realize that the bickering, fighting, and naming that Pat and Tiffany engage in early on are not healthy tools to use in a real relationship. You will never get the girl after you call her a slut…never.
Comparison With Rational Models
The only real thing that Pat and Tiffany have in common is that they’ve both recently lost their spouses and that they both have moderate mental disorders. That’s it. Now, two people with mental disorders falling in love with each other isn’t impossible, but it’s improbable if that’s the only thing they have in common. In a more realistic model Pat and Tiffany would meet under different circumstances, and probably be introduced by different peers–they only meet because Tiffany is the sister of Nikki’s friend Veronica. In reality Pat wouldn’t even be remotely interested in her, because he’s eager to forget his ex-wife.
Even if Pat and Tiffany met and somehow became attracted to one another it is definitely impossible to change your romantic partner in the way that Tiffany changed Pat. Before meeting her he was neurotic, aggressive, and obsessive by nature; even if it was possible for anyone to change their partner it would be impossible for Tiffany to do so. Why? Because many of Pat’s issues can be attributed to his mental condition and his brain chemistry, which wouldn’t be solved just because he got involved with a pretty, equally neurotic girl.
Even if the above factors were worked around Pat and Tiffany would still never work out, because they’re too similar in all the wrong ways. They’re both borderline rude, and the resulting relationship would be nothing but toxic.
Potential Harmful Effects
Believing what is portrayed in Silver Linings Playbook could have some negative consequences; for example, after viewing this film someone might be willing to believe that–like Tiffany–they could ultimately change the personality of someone like Pat, who has bipolar disorder and other issues. In real life people like Pat–who are violent and bipolar–get aggressive very easily, and might not take kindly to people calling them “crazy” and subtly trying to change them. On the flip side it’s also not entirely healthy to behave like Tiffany, who deals with grief by being promiscuous, and is sometimes downright rude as well.
Judgement/Evaluation
Silver Linings Playbook was an entertaining, engaging film. This is evident because it was a huge box office hit–earning 236 million dollars worldwide, which is more than eleven times the film’s original budget. It was also nominated for eight Academy Awards–the first film since 2004 to be nominated for the Big Five Oscars. Jennifer Lawrence won an Oscar for her portrayal of Tiffany Maxwell.
Being unrealistic doesn’t necessarily mean that a film is unenjoyable; in fact, people often watch movies–especially romantic comedies like Silver Linings Playbook–because they wish to escape their less exciting realities. It is unhealthy for movies to present these types of relationships to the public, but it’s like bad junk food: we eat it up anyway.
While Silver Linings Playbook portrays many things–such as romance and mental illness–in an unrealistic, sometimes over-comedic way it still serves its purpose as a film: it entertains.
Silver Lining Dating Site
Step 5: Design
Realistic Reframing
Tiffany’s response to Pat calling her a slut is nearly perfect, but there could be some modifications:
TIFFANY
I was a big slut, but I’m not anymore. There’s always gonna be a part of me that’s sloppy and dirty, but I like that, with all the other parts of myself. Can you say the same about yourself, fucker?! Furthermore, it’s kind of hypocritical and cliche for a man to slut shame, especially considering your wife cheated on you…is she a slut too? Can you forgive? Are you any good at that? Are you any good at anything, Pat? I mean, other than being slightly psychotic and obsessive? You obviously need more therapy, and concrete methods of changing your life.
After saying this Tiffany could just refuse to speak to Pat ever again. It’s really that simple.
Likelihood of Use
There’s no reason Hollywood couldn’t use the above reframing; it’s already pretty close to what Tiffany already yells at Pat, albeit with a few modifications to really stick it to him. It would certainly be more interesting as well as more realistic. When going off on a rant such as Tiffany’s, people tend to speak before they think. In this reframing, Tiffany would divulge more of her honest thoughts and feelings and would have to suffer the consequences, if there are any, from doing so.
Existing Reconstructions
There seem to be no reconstructions to Silver Linings Playbook, which could be attributed to the fact that it’s a fairly recent (2012), well received, award winning film.
Step 6: Debriefing
Personal Impact of Dis-illusioning; Comparison of Personal Belief Before/After (Change/Reinforce)
There was nothing presented in the film that dis-illusioned any of us. We were well aware of the Love Myths before watching the movie, and a lot of the logic behind debunking movies such as Silver Linings Playbook is common sense. People don’t typically think real life is exactly like the movies. That being said, watching the movie merely reinforced the dis-illusioned view we already had of this particular breed of love.
Personal Harm from Myth
Many, if not all, people do believe that they can change their romantic partners. By portraying characters such as Pat and Tiffany as being easily curable it reinforces some of these romantic misconceptions. Let’s say, hypothetically, someone watched Silver Linings Playbook and then shortly after began a romantic relationship with a man or woman that was suffering from bipolar disorder; they might mistakenly think that they will be able to change their lover for the better, but that is not the case. People typically only change on their own accord, or–in the case of certain mental illnesses–because of medication and therapy.
Step 7: Dissemination
Advocacy Action Plan
In order to bring attention to the damaging effects of romantic comedies, audiences either need to become more aware of the unrealistic circumstances or convince themselves coming in that the movie is presenting unreachable expectations. While Silver Linings Playbook wouldn’t call itself one of the movies that masses can identify with, it is, and the issue is with the genre itself. Some of the most influential movies in recent memory have literally only been appealing because they had the same recycled story as each other: hot dude meets pretty girl, he’s a jerk, she makes him a better person, they fall in love, the end. The whole industry romantic comedy stems not only gladly portrays these perfect, unrealistic stories for money, they do it blatantly and unforgivingly. While Silver Linings Playbook has those aforementioned plot elements, it still tries to be unique by adding a gimmick that becomes less and less important by the end of the movie. Some movies use the same technique — the gimmick could be that the guy is a vampire (eg. Twilight), sometimes the guy and girl are on complete opposite ends of the fiscal spectrum (Titanic), and in this case, the guy and girl have recently developed minor mental disorders. Those gimmicks make the audience consciously feel detached to the story, then unconsciously identify and long for the romance the characters find. Long story short, the romantic comedy genre is the lamest marketing ploy in the world, and for such a silly appearance, it is unbelievably manipulative.
Timetable of Specific Activities
Speaking from personal experience (some of what I’ve experienced, some of what I’ve observed from my peers), romantic comedies definitely have effects on people, but they’re pretty much all negative. The entire premise of romantic comedies, that these different people can find true love, makes the audience ask, “Why can’t I?” And the obvious answer is, “because no one can.” I, as well as almost everyone else, have friends who have therapists, or have disorders, etc. and yet none of them are dating each other, or are head over heels in love. In fact, I’m pretty sure none of my friends have unbreakable bonds with each other, or have some sort of predestined connection. The only couples that I have seen with that kind of connection are Jack and Rose, and Jim and Pam. Those are all fake people, of course, which supports the idea that romance in media is completely skewed. Movies like Silver Linings Playbook and movies that are categorized as romantic comedies have a place in pop culture as sources of entertainment, but portray romance incorrectly and cheaply.